Pride is the thing I have found hardest to deal with in my life. On day 2,117 of my daily barefoot-style running streak, I recorded an episode about it, because I have spent years being too proud to admit failure.

If you are the same, if you struggle to say "that did not work" or "I got it wrong", this is for you.

What prompted this

Today I listened to two podcasts on the run. The first was The Diary of a CEO, where Daniel Priestley talked about AI and the disruption it is causing. The second was How I Built This, with Mark Cuban, who owns the Dallas Mavericks and appears on Shark Tank.

One pattern stood out. Almost every successful entrepreneur on shows like these has failed several times before things worked. They talk about it openly. I also noticed how easy that is when you are a financial success. The failure sits safely in the past, so you can tell the story with a good ending attached.

That made me look at my own habits. I have not been that open.

Where my pride came from

I am half Chinese. Forty years ago that was not common in the UK, and I grew up with some stick for it. I would not say I was bullied. I found quickly that I had a choice. I could be a passive child and a target, or I could build confidence. Confidence tends to deter that behaviour, so I built it.

My parents are brilliant, and they gave me tough love. I am glad they did. Tough love also leaves something behind, which is a drive to prove people wrong. I have always treated that as a strength, and it has pushed me forward. It is not always the best way to motivate yourself, though. People respond to motivation in very different ways, and I built much of my life around being proved right.

The cost of proving people wrong

When your motivation is built on proving people wrong, admitting failure becomes very difficult. Failure feels like handing the other side a point.

So I stayed quiet about mine. I have had large failures in business. I have come close to bankruptcy a couple of times. If I describe myself as an entrepreneur, the honest word is a trier. I keep trying, I fail often, and I keep going.

I did not say that out loud for a long time. Because I stayed closed, people formed their own view of me. Some put me on a pedestal. That is a dangerous place to stand. It creates a false picture, and the uncomfortable part is that I let it stand. Being seen that way felt good, so I did not correct it.

That is how pride works for me. It masks defeat. It hides the failures, so people see someone I am not. Then I find myself playing up to that version.

What changes when you admit it

Whenever I have said a failure out loud, the same thing has happened. It felt like a weight coming off my shoulders. People were also more interested in what I had learned than in the fact I had failed.

I think more people learn from failures than from successes. That includes the person who failed. A failure you hide teaches you very little, because you spend your energy managing how it looks.

My own measure of success is not a single big win. It is consistency, sustainability and the ability not to give up. I believe I have shown those traits over the years. None of them depends on a spotless record. They depend on getting up after something goes wrong.

How this links to the streak

Running every day is the clearest example I have. Day 2,117 is not a story of perfect days. Some runs are slow, some are cold and some I do not want to start. The streak does not ask me to run well. It asks me to run.

That is a useful correction for a proud person. A daily commitment has no room for performance. Either I did it or I did not, and there is nothing to hide behind.

The mission

I run barefoot-style every day as part of a mission to cover 40,075km, a full lap of the world. After today's run my total is 16,275.02km, which leaves 23,799.98km to go. I am working towards a 16.5-year streak. Alongside the distance, the aim is to raise £1M for children's causes, including Great Ormond Street and BBC Children in Need.

I record a vlog every day because the more people the mission reaches, the more money we can raise for children. That only works if I am honest on camera. A mission built on children's lives deserves a person who tells the truth, including the parts where he got things wrong.

What I am taking from today

Pride helps you hide defeat. Hiding defeat gives people a false picture of you. Playing up to that picture is a bad place to be.

My plan is simple. When something fails, I say so and say what I learned. I will correct a flattering view of me when I see one. I will keep measuring myself by whether I turn up, not by whether I look successful.

If you are carrying a failure you have not told anyone about, you could try saying it to one person this week. Tell me in the comments of the episode if you want. I read them and I reply.

If you believe in the mission, subscribe, share, like and comment on the vlog. The more people we reach, the more we raise for children. I will be back tomorrow with day 2,118.

Watch the full episode: https://youtu.be/RYJ7qoXFpws